Arse Elektronika 2009 Next Week!
Holy crap it’s almost October already! Go buy tickets now!
So, instead of typing things, here’s the press release:
monochrom’s ARSE ELEKTRONIKA 2009 “OF INTERCOURSE AND INTRACOURSE”
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Conference, film festival, DIY workshops, performances.
Oct 1-4, 2009. San Francisco.
With talks, machines and performances by Allen Stein, R. U. Sirius, Noah Weinstein, Randy Sarafan, Uncle Abdul, Jonathon Keats, Ani Niow, Jason Scott, Annalee Newitz, Rainer Prohaska, Douglas Spink, Tatiana Bazzichelli, Violet Blue, Eleanor Saitta, Reesa Brown, Saul Albert, Monika Kribusz, Kim De Vries, Pepper Mint, Micha Cárdenas, Rose White, Elle Mehrmand and many more…
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Scottish SF author Iain Banks created a fictitious group-civilisation called “Culture” in his eponymous narrative. The vast majority of humanoid people in the “Culture” are born with greatly altered glands housed within their central nervous systems, who secrete - on command - mood- and sensory-appreciation-altering compounds into the person’s bloodstream. Additionally many inhabitants have subtly altered reproductive organs - and control over the associated nerves - to enhance sexual pleasure. Ovulation is at will in the female, and a fetus up to a certain stage may be re-absorbed, aborted, or held at a static point in its development; again, as willed. Also, a viral change from one sex into the other, is possible. And there is a convention that each person should give birth to one child in their lives. It may sound strange, but Banks states that a society in which it is so easy to change sex will rapidly find out if it is treating one gender better than the other. Pressure for change within society would presumably build up until some form of sexual equality and hence numerical parity will be established. Does this set-up sound too futuristic? Too utopian? Too bizarre?
We may not forget that mankind is a sexual and tool-using species. And that’s why our annual conference Arse Elektronika deals with sex, technology and the future. As bio-hacking, sexually enhanced bodies, genetic utopias and plethora of gender have long been the focus of literature, science fiction and, increasingly, pornography, this year will see us explore the possibilities that fictional and authentic bodies have to offer. Our world is already way more bizarre than our ancestors could have ever imagined. But it may not be bizarre enough. “Bizarre enough for what?” – you might ask. Bizarre enough to subvert the heterosexist matrix that is underlying our world and that we should hack and overcome for some quite pressing reasons within the next century. Don’t you think, replicants?
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Festival Schedule:
- October 1 (6 PM-midnight): Film festival, opening ceremony and Prixxx Arse Elektronika Gala @ Roxie Theater
- October 2 (8 PM-midnight): Art, pixels, interactive performance @ Center for Sex and Culture
- October 3 (11:30 AM-9 PM): Talks and discourse @ PariSoMa
- October 3 (after 10 PM): Party and performance night @ Femina Potens Gallery
- October 4 (12 noon-10 PM): DIY workshops @ Noisebridge
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Up-to-date info on festival site: http://www.monochrom.at/arse-elektronika/
Tickets: http://bit.ly/arse2009-tickets
The Virtual Hole - Review of a Design Iteration
Prelude to an Iteration
Well, this certainly isn’t something I’ve ever gotten to do before.
Usually, toys go to market, I write something about them, and they either stick around and never see another iteration (like most of the audio toys), or slowly fade from view until they disappear (like the Talking Head vibrator).
However, it looks like Segment’s Virtual Hole actually has been released in Japan, along with a ton of information about the business model, toy designs, and plans for the future. I first saw the virtual hole back in 2007, and the company even gave me a prototype to show.
While I talked about the toy at conferences quite a bit, I never did get around to doing a full writeup on what was available with it. So, now that there’s a new site out, I figure now is as good a time as any to see where Segment has gone with this design in the past 2 years.
Where They Were - March 2007
So, a quick recap. The Virtual Hole first started showing up on the radar after AEE2007. It got a massive amount of blog time at this point, as can be seen by way of this Gizmodo article
Thanks to the wonderful people at the unfortunately defunct X-Rated Patents blog, I managed to get a meeting with the company behind the product. They even agreed to give me one of the very few prototypes they had at the time!
So, in lieu of writing up all of the features of the toy here, I’m just going to include a video of a talk I gave in fall 2007 that features the Virtual Hole. Wind about 2:20 in.
But, a really quick overview for those of you that are reading this on non-video enabled plaforms:
- The Virtual Hole is basically a latex tube with 7 vibration motors molded into it, 2 down each of 3 sides, one at the top.
- Each motor is individually addressable by software over USB.
- The toy was made to synchronize with movies, so that as actors in the movie moved, the toy would simulate their movements by way of setting the motor speeds in the tube to correspond. Think of it like trying to simulate sliding friction by way of vibration.
Now, there were a couple of pretty serious design flaws at the time. Mainly
- Cleaning. The virtual hole came with what might as well have been called a turkey baster. It was a little squeezy thing you could put soap and water in to squirt in the tube. Even so, there was no way to completely remove the tube from its casing and actually clean it. Not good.
- Holes, when attached to people, don’t usually vibrate. It’s am interesting way to try and approximate the feeling of thrusting, but in the end, it just didn’t work. There’s not enough variation in vibration, versus the friction you’re used to feeling in that situation, to make it work.
After this, the company pretty much just disappeared as far as I was concerned. No press, no updates to their website, and no one I talked to in Japan had heard much from them.
A Light on the Horizon - January 2009
AEE2009 rolls around, and all of the sudden, a redesign!
The virtual hole came back out of nowhere to surprise us. This time, it’s got a nice new design, looking all sleek and… like a really futuristic anime bowling pin?
The box had also gone from a little black ‘I got it at radio shack’ affair to something that looks fitting for a modern video game system.
However, there wasn’t much news in the way of new functionality, nor were there any new webpages to look at. Once again, silence.
Fast forward up to September 2009. I email someone the old http://girlsr.tv url that I’d been handing out for years, and they replied saying it didn’t work. Sure enough, the page seemed to be gone. I decided to do some googling, but couldn’t get anything by just looking for Virtual Hole or Girls Rainbow. Finally, adding Segment into the search, I get something…
A New Tomorrow (in Virtual Holes)
There’s so much information on this website that it’s kind of overwhelming at first. So, let’s start with what may be one of my favorite pieces of information graphics that I’ve seen since I started this site. (Warning: Big image approaching)
If you would, please imagine the preceding image being shown on a gigantic monitor to some secret agent while an evil mastermind laughs. This is Segment’s vision of sex in the future, and their part in it. It’s also a really good breakdown of what they talked about when I met with them two years ago.
To break down the graphic…
Media:
- Purple - VFT Media - Movies, DVDs, TV channels, and downloads, all encoded with Segments hardware control data stream.
- Yellow - VFT Live - Live Chat and Webcam shows, encoded live using hardware like the virtual stick. Segment wants to own every part of this, from hosting to content creation methods.
- Green - VFT Contents - Video Games with control data, similar to the amBX hardware (that I also write drivers for! :D)
Transmission:
- Red - Distribution Methods - Segment wants to own every kind of distribution method. DVD players, TVs, PCs, whatever.
- Gray - Virtual Module - This is Segments data decoding module, that takes the signals from the video broadcast and turns it into something that can be used by their hardware
Output:
- Blue - Sexual Feeling Gear - The Virtual Hole, Virtual Rotor (rotateable toys, similar to the clitoral stimulators on rabbit vibes), Virtual Vibrator, Virtual Body (RealDoll!), Virtual Accessories (The Virtual Cup, which I’ll get to in a minute
- Squant - Sexual Healing Gear - Ok I just made that up to make sure you were still listening. Japan may be ahead of us in sex technology, but they still haven’t found a robot to replace Marvin Gaye.
- Orange - Seeing and Hearing Gear - Googles and headphones. Sexy, sexy headphones. I would make a joke about vibrating headphones if they didn’t already exist
So, those are some pretty ambitious goals. Take video, encode hardware control stream either live using toys with sensors or in post processing using software, figure out how to package that over any distribution means available, and provide people with an also instant-on sex toy. I’ve heard people throw this idea around for years, but very few have actually gone in depth on proving how they’re going to do it.
Segment, on the other hand, seems to be proud of their end to end solution. Why don’t we tromp through it in excrusiating detail now?
V-Studio Encoding Suite
First off, let’s restate the end goal. We have the Virtual Hole, and we want to be able to quickly and easily create content for it. Now you could set someone down in front of a computer and make them click sliders to match to the movie you’re trying to encode.
The V-Studio software solves this problem by using optical flow. In the picture above, you can see their video sychronization suite. Instead of having to set all of the motors by hand, the content creator can simply set a marker in the video, and the marker will map movement along a single axis to the toy. This means that work to create content for the toy is reduced to marker placement per edit, which should keep things on a 1:1 (if not smaller) length to work match when encoding signals for the video. This is really god damn smart. It’s part of the technology that I saw two years ago, and I’m still just as impressed by it.
There’s been some new hardware added for content creators too, though…
Maybe you don’t want your dick in a tube for 8 hours a day while encoding video. Even worse, maybe you don’t HAVE a dick to put in the tube! What ever shall you do to make sure the output of your encoding is sane?
Why, wear a virtual hole sleeve, of course!
This sleeve is the exact same as the insert for the toy, except it goes on your arm. While I want to laugh at this, it’s honestly a really smart idea in terms of porn creation ergonomics.
There’s also a Mosiacing suite, but I’m going to leave that for another post.
Producing for the Web
I’m going to kind of rush through this part because there aren’t a lot of interesting pictures or ways to be funny, but I still think it should be included.
When I say Segment wants to own everything, I mean it. Their web content creation system is definitely full featured, if nothing else. Here’s what their content creation software looks like from the point of view of a live webcam site:
- Open Webcam Software, which connects you to Segment’s hosted webcam service
- Perform
- You can stream video of the performance
- You can take pictures of the performance along with the stream
- At the end of the performance, you can take all content and instantly create a blog post out of it.
- All media uploading and management is handled through their software, and all blogs are templated. No code needs to be written.
Now, I haven’t worked in webcams in many years, but in terms of trying to get quick sites together along with hardware integration, they’ve covered most of the bases for the content creator.
Fixing Problems
Most of what I’ve outlined so far is what I also heard two years ago when I met with the company. Between then and now, they’ve addressed the two issues I mentioned at the start of this article, in ways that I think are quite smart.
Cleanliness was a major issue with the prototype virtual hole. The turkey baster approach was cute, but not viable at all, especially in a toy is a $200+ starting cost. Segment has fixed this by way of the Virtual Cup.
It seems that just about everyone has been taking a tip from Tenga these day. By tip, I mean completely ripping off their designs and materials. But, if the sex industry has proven one thing, it’s that ripping off someone else’s ideas wholesale can still make for a great product (see: every audio toy ever).
Anyways, the main idea here is that you no longer stick your junk directly in the Virtual Hole. Instead, you get Virtual Cups, which I’m guessing are single or (small number) multi use disposable, stick the Virtual Cup in the Virtual Hole, and then stick your junk in the Virtual Cup that’s in the Virtual Hole. Viola, no mess in the virtual hole! I would say that having to have a Virtual cup on hand any time you wanted to use the virtual hole would suck, but honestly, this is a problem the guys at Homemade Sex Toys have solved a million times over. Foam, lube, and a ziploc bag, and you’re good to go.
While we’re on the subject of lube…
Here’s the solution to the vibration problem: Virtual Lotion. Yes, it’s lube with little pieces of silicon on it.
Remember Orbitz, that drink in the mid 90’s that had shit floating in it?
Yeah. That. This is the lube version of that.
Now, you’re probably all like, “Dude? Lube? With shit in it? Seriously?”. But stay with me here. As long as you don’t go stickin’ this in skin holes, it’s a fucking great idea.
The problem with the Virtual Hole prototype was that it’s a smooth tube with vibrators on it. The form factor itself doesn’t really lend much to friction, and the vibrators just make you kinda numb. Not the quickest way to that holyest of holyes for male sex toys, the hands free orgasm.
There’s already been little nubbules (please stop now and say the word ‘nubbules’ out loud. Really. You owe it to yourself. No. Really. I’ll wait.
See? Told you.) added to the Virtua Cop portion of the toy, but now you can also add this lube with shit in it. This means that you have little nubbules (You probably just said it out loud again and didn’t even notice. THE NUBBULES ARE IN YOUR MIND.) causing sensation, and the lube with shit in it in between the nubbules randomly stimulating other nerves. Instead of a smooth tube, you have a constantly changing tube, that’s still be synched with the movie. However, due to the lube and possibility to change out the cups, the movie is really the only static part of the usage.
I’m not a mathematician or anything, but in my head, semi-random friction in a snug tube plus haptic patterns approaches the haptics of real sex. The more random elements you introduce, the less bored your nerves get, and the more stimulation you feel.
Thus ends my biomechanics thesis. Please email me my diploma.
The only problem I have with the Virtual Lotion is the names of the types. The one up there is ‘Scrub’, which I guess is ok. However, the other two lubes are named ‘Slime’ (because they totally look like Dragon’s Quest Slime, and you how that side of the planet loves Dragon’s Quest), and ‘Worms’ (because they totally look like worms, and if you read Warren Ellis you totally know how that side of the planet loves worms).
Conclusion
Wow. Yeah. My complaints got tossed out the window. It’s interesting to see a toy take ideas and evolve over a few years into a more viable product. I really wish I got to do this more often.
I’m not going to say there aren’t problems with the Virtual Hole. While the content creation and distribution model is respectable in its breadth, it’s still locked down on most sides, and made specifically for the use of the sex industry. At the moment, the vision doesn’t really seem to include interpersonal play as much as it does a producer consumer model.
That being said, I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on where they’re going from now on. If only because I really want to figure out why the Geico Lizard is on their VFT Jockey page.
The Penistron
Electromagnets for tightening? Ballsy, but an interesting idea.
The butt joystick is an interesting idea too, especially with the combination of the analog stick and the pressure sensor.
Seriously. What research lab is this, and why do I not work there.
via twitter chain ending at the SexIs Blog
The Most Important Teledildonics Yet
I won’t lie. I don’t really use most of the stuff I build. I put it together, write something witty about it, and then it gets thrown in the box labeled “Sex Projects” and I move on to something else.
No one really seems to notice or care. We all have a good laugh, I get invited to another conference to act like I know what I’m talking about, and life continues.
But, that’s not really a very fulfilling existence, is it? To be famous for something that you don’t really care about. The money, the power, the men/women/indeterminate that throw themselves at you. It all becomes a blur after a while, and you realize that you need to remind yourself that, deep down, you’re in this for a reason.
I’ve concentrated on haptics for 4 years now. Vibratey things, thrusty things, whatever, it’s all been physical interaction on one level or another. There might be another person controlling it, but it’s all pretty rudimentary stuff when you get down to it. Apply physical stimulation to proper portion of body, ????, profit.
This was the wrong approach.
What I needed was something that was more that just buzzythrusty. I needed something that appealed to a portion of my psyche that a quick rush of genital stimulation triggered endorphins just couldn’t do.
I needed a lifetime achievement award that was controlled by USB.
This is the Prixxx Arse Lifetime Achievement Award that I won at Arse Elektronika 2008, for excellence in the area of, like, butt plugs, or something.
It’s been sitting on the upper level of my desk for a year now, but it’s not really been on all that much.
The lighting mechanism is 2 red LEDs with a battery pack. However, as you might notice in the picture, there are no batteries in the battery pack! The black and white wire is going to this:
This is the LED casserole board I built a few years ago, as a test project for using the USBTiny firmware. This board is a single channel power control with USB communication for as many things as a single USB port can power (500mA @ 5V). Before today, it was just controlling the rave spider riding, wiimote weilding ninja.
All I had to do was add an extra friction lock port, and solder some wires into the battery pack, and presto, I have USB controlled award.
Now, you may be wondering, what does this have to do with teledildonics?
Well, it’s all about this button right here:
Presses of this button are recorded, along with the IP of the presser, to be played back when I’m sitting at my computer. Every press of the button will translate to a 5 second lighting of the award. When the award is lit, I will look up and realize that I have a lifetime achievement award. This memory will send triggers to the most important part of my brain, my ego.
From this, I will get a raging power boner.
While multiple presses of the button are appreciated, please be sincere in your presses and don’t go too crazy, so that I will have some hope of having enough bloodflow to actually do whatever it was that I was going to do when sitting at my desk.
Forget the old teledildonics. Join me in this new world of interaction that truly has an impact on the user.
Or, well, join me as long as you have a lifetime achievement award in something. If not, well, obviously you have some work to be doing, don’t you?
The Naughty Maps of ESRI 2009
Last week I ended up at the ESRI 2009 Conference in San Diego. It’s one of the larger annual Geographic Information Systems conferences. Basically, if you want to know where something is, or if you want to tell other people where things are, and I mean, like, really, seriously let them where the fuck they, or the things they desire, are, with maps and charts and graphs and lasers and hand waving and so on, this is (one of) the conference(s) you go to.
One of the more interesting portions of the conference (since I couldn’t actually go to any of the talks, damn expo only badge) was the map gallery on the top floor. Rows and rows and rows of informatics porn. Maps about things you care about, things you don’t care about, things you haven’t heard of, things you didn’t expect (pirates and what looks to be the worst game of SimAnt EVER, for instance). Took me over an hour to get through it, and by the end I could no longer process numbers, graphics, or geography. It was awesome.
Now, if you’d asked me before hand if I thought I’d get a slashdong post out of this visit, I would’ve laughed at you. In fact, I’m laughing as I write this. But, sure enough, there were a couple of maps that actually stood out.
The Spatial Distribution of the Seven Deadly Sins by County within the United States was the first one that made me do a double take. This map establishes different metrics for sins, such as per capita density of fast food restaurants for gluttony…
Or occurances of sexually transmitted diseases for lust. Really, just the fact that the legend has a header of “Standardized Lust” makes this one of the best pieces of information graphics I’ve ever seen.
For more information on this map:
- Las Vegas Sun Article
- Chart Porn - No. Seriously. Chart Porn. This is getting a sidebar link as soon as I have sidebar links again.
Onto the next map…
Say you live in Yakima, Washington. You’ve got pornography, possibly some adult toys, and maybe a few naughty board games for couples looking to spice up their relationship. You know that somewhere in Yakima, someone else has cash, and is ready to give it to you in trade for these goods (but not services, as this is Washington, not Nevada). How can you know where to place your business so that you can maximize profit while minimizing neighborhood backlash? Time to fire up ArcGIS and get mappin’!
This map takes into account proper buffer zones around areas that would not be acceptable (parks, schools, residentially zoned land), as well as creating larger buffer zones around places where stores already exist. It uses this data to create viable business spaces with in the city limits of Yakima.
In the end, you get a small strip of land down the eastern side, following what I believe is North 1st Street, as well as some slightly random places right around the western edge of airport (South 36th Ave). Great for rooftop advertising to weary, horny travelers!
All in all, I learned quite a bit at this conference. There’ll be more stories over on Nonpolynomial Labs in the next couple of days, so keep an eye out there for the non-sex stuff (but it’ll involve missles AND rockets at the same time!)
